YIKES! - by Lisa
Hi Again -
Do you do much air travel? What do you think about air turbulence? Is it fun, just an annoyance, or downright scary?
I'm in the last group. I've never liked it. So I don't exactly look forward to getting on an airplane. But sometimes there's no way around it.
A few weeks ago we took a trip to the southeastern United States. It was actually very cool because we had won a contest at our bank and the prize was $1000. So we went on our dream vacation. But since we live in Colorado, the trip included several airplanes.
I don't know why I freak out so much. Whenever there is turbulence, I grab the armrest for dear life. And I worry and I pray like crazy - but mostly I worry.
But on this trip I had a revelation. In my mind I thought that if I worried enough, the plane would stay in the air. Now how crazy is that? I know enough theology to realize that it is God that keeps the universe going - not me. So why would I think that I had the power in my own thoughts to keep an airplane at 30,000 feet? Silly me.
So I decided to just turn the whole thing over to God where it belongs in the first place. And then I felt much better. The rest of the flight was peaceful and calm, even with the turbulence.
Do you ever think that somehow your worries are powerful enough to save yourself from disaster? Post a comment. I promise to answer.
Lisa
Do you do much air travel? What do you think about air turbulence? Is it fun, just an annoyance, or downright scary?
I'm in the last group. I've never liked it. So I don't exactly look forward to getting on an airplane. But sometimes there's no way around it.
A few weeks ago we took a trip to the southeastern United States. It was actually very cool because we had won a contest at our bank and the prize was $1000. So we went on our dream vacation. But since we live in Colorado, the trip included several airplanes.
I don't know why I freak out so much. Whenever there is turbulence, I grab the armrest for dear life. And I worry and I pray like crazy - but mostly I worry.
But on this trip I had a revelation. In my mind I thought that if I worried enough, the plane would stay in the air. Now how crazy is that? I know enough theology to realize that it is God that keeps the universe going - not me. So why would I think that I had the power in my own thoughts to keep an airplane at 30,000 feet? Silly me.
So I decided to just turn the whole thing over to God where it belongs in the first place. And then I felt much better. The rest of the flight was peaceful and calm, even with the turbulence.
Do you ever think that somehow your worries are powerful enough to save yourself from disaster? Post a comment. I promise to answer.
Lisa
I know what you mean about handing it over to God. My husband had a stroke in December of 2005 at 31 years old and I had our baby boy two days later. When they told us to go in and say our goodbyes at the hospital because he was not going to make it, I went into early labor. My husband lived, got saved and is now in church. During the time when he was in ICU, I finally understood what it was like to totally hand something over to God and if I had not done that and I still have to do it today as I am a caregiver, I would not have made it or I would not make it day to day. Sometimes I do still have to remind myself that when I hand something over I need to leave it there. That can be a challenge at times. Look forward to hearing from you.
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Hi Dawn -
Thanks so much for writing. I was really moved by your story. It's a lot more significant than worrying about air turbulence!!
I'm glad that you were able to hand these trials over to God. I know it's tough to continue to do it. (When you say you are a caregiver, I wasn't sure if you are taking care of your husband or your child.) But either way, I know I'm often tempted to take back control. So I really admire your courage, tenacity, and faith. You are an inspiration.
Blessings to you,
Lisa
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I am a caregiver for my husband but I also have three children. I have three boys ages 2, 8 and 9. So I guess you could say I am both mother, father, teacher and punisher...lol...I know that it will all work out in the end. It has really been a rough couple of years. God is really testing me and I hope I pass with flying colors...or at least with a C....hee hee hee...but I know that my father will never leave me.
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Hi Dawn -
Thanks for writing back. I really appreciate hearing more of your story.
It sounds like you've had quite a transition to make in the last couple of years. I admire your courage and sense of humor.
What would you say have been the hardest parts? And what specifically has helped you on your faith journey during this time?
In the end, Christianity is about the cross. All of us have one, in one form or another. We often just don't want to admit it or walk that road. But it is the road to oneness with Christ. I know that has been true in my own life too.
Looking forward to hearing from you and be blessed today,
Lisa
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The hardest part of this journey for me is the change in my husband. We have had to get to know each other again. I caught myself thinking in my head that I was married to one man with two souls and the person I married was in Heaven and I was living with a different one...but I know now that he is the same, but different. My husband was my best friend and still is, but just in a different way. We are starting to be able to have somewhat of a conversation, with his aphasia and all...it is really hard. He is a totally different person now and I am still learning to deal with him. When I finally come to realize that I cannot handle everything on my own, I was in the shower at the hospital after I had my son and I was just crying and prayed God please help me and my husband. I remember thinking I have more people around me than I have ever had before, but I still feel so alone. I actually told my sister and a good friend of mine I felt and still do at times, like I am in a LIFETIME movie and cannot get out. I was very angry for a while and my preacher, a dear man, told me that God is big enough to handle me being mad at him. I have really leaned on my church family and Christ for help. That is what gets me through one day at a time. I have to get through each day. I feel really guilty alot. The reason being that I sometimes have a pity me Dawn day and then I realize that there are lots of other people alot worse off than I am. I realize that I have not right to ask for anything more, God saved my husband and I should be thankful for that..even on our bad days.
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Hi Dawn -
I can sure see how difficult this would be for you. In a way you did marry a different person. But it seems positive that you are beginning to be able to communicate better with him.
It sounds like you've had to go through various stages of grief with this since things didn't turn out the way you thought they would. Your pastor seems to be very wise and I'm glad he has been guiding you through all of this.
I know sometimes it helps to realize that we aren't alone, even when it seems like it. Other people do sometimes have worse situations, but the pain you experienced is still real. I admire your spirit and your attitude in how you're dealing with everything.
If you'd like, I'd love to continue this conversation on e-mail. If that would work for you, please e-mail me at lisa@livingforgod.net. You're welcome to continue to respond to the blog if you prefer. I just thought you might appreciate some privacy in this conversation. Either way is fine with me.
May God bless and heal your entire family and hold everyone in the palm of his hand.
Lisa
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