HIDDEN JEWELS - By Lisa Are Wulf
Spiritual Life
Do you ever feel like a hidden jewel? Like a person with a lot to offer but you're held back in obscurity? That's been the subject of my recent conversations with God. In fact, I sense that is exactly where he wants me.
For many of us in America, this is a tough position. We want to be out front. We want to be noticed. We want to make an impact and change the world. Some (or even many) of us secretly want to be celebrities in whatever field we've chosen.
But that's probably not God's plan. Sometimes he holds his hand up and says, "No, not now." Perhaps he keeps us hidden for a reason. Perhaps he has a secret mission just for us. Perhaps what we might consider stagnation is really building us up spiritually for his next move.
What do you think? Is it tough to keep your out-front, can-do spirit in check without feeling demoralized?
Tags: Spiritual Life, Trusting God, Spiritual Path
Categories: ALL LISA'S ENTRIES
Tags: Trusting God Spiritual LIfe Spiritual Path
Hi Lisa! I enjoyed connecting with you at the Spiritual Formation group on Tuesday. I am still digesting the encouraging words that were offered.
Thank you for your ministry.
Yes, I feel like this often. I have been accustomed to being in the spotlight since I was a child. I am used to starring in musical theater productions, leading worship, and being in ministry in the church. My sinful nature craves the approval of people. More than that, it wants to be ADORED!
I have long been aware of this struggle to be at rest with God's approval of me to the point of being free from the driving desire to be applauded by others. It has been an area in my heart that has required regular repentance.
I find that I have been "backstage" now for 3 years as I have been on hiatus from any performance, formal ministry or stage.
I have felt out of sight and in solitude. I take great joy in my calling to stay home and minister primarily to my husband and little girls, however I do relate with that feeling of having so much to share and not much outlet to do so. I feel bottled up and lonely at times.
It is interesting though, I know God has tempered my ego and desire for adoration quite a bit in these "hideaway" years. I saw it just tonight.
Dave and I are helping a friend lead worship this Saturday at his church. Like I said, it has been a couple of years since I've done that. Remarkably, at practice tonight, I felt somewhat free from the need to impress or show off. In the past it was a constant struggle for me to worship and not be primarily focused on impressing those around me. Tonight I felt at peace; the desire to draw others into God's presence at the forefront of my mind. This is something for me, let me tell you! So the time God has been keeping me back behind the scenes apparently has been a time of pruning and growth.
Tonight I visualize this journey much like a river, rushing, moving down hill until it pours out into a wider, flatter spot and comes to rest in a lake. Here there is time to float on the surface with the sun shining on my face and take in the beauty of His creation surrounding me. There are reflections in a pool of water that are not visible in rushing streams. It's refreshing. I am becoming aware of the depth in this place. Lakes are deeper than most places in the rivers after all. I am sensing an invitation to dive down and explore the depth. What more will I find there? I wonder.
Eventually the water will trickle out again forming another swiftly traveling river or maybe a more laid back, winding brook until, ultimately, it is embraced by the vast, eternal sea with its unique tides and currents. Until then, I am enjoying the lake.
Well, that was a bit more than a comment. Yep, I suppose I am a little bottled up!
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Hi There -
Wow, what a wonderful comment. I really appreciate the depth of your sharing. Your ending paragraph about the lake was truly beautiful.
It sounds like God has really been doing some deep work in your soul for the last three years. As a "performance child" myself, I can totally understand the need to impress others. But it sounds like you are really making progress on that issue. That is really great!!
I also enjoyed the Spiritual Formation Network meeting last Tuesday and I especially appreciated your encouraging words to me about my book project. I'm so glad that you and your husband are part of the group.
Hope to see you again soon,
Lisa
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